The couples quiz

Most things called a couples quiz are just a list of questions. This one is scored, in five rounds of ten, and it measures the thing actually worth measuring: not what you each think, but how well you can predict what the other one thinks.

How to play, and how to score it

The rule that makes this a quiz rather than a questionnaire: you score your guesses, not your answers.

• Take a round of ten questions.
• Separately, each of you writes down two things per question: what you think your partner would answer, and what your own honest answer is.
• Compare. You get one point for every time you correctly predicted your partner.
• Your partner is the judge of whether you got it right. That is not negotiable and it is usually the funniest part.

Do not look at each other's paper first. Whoever answers second after hearing the first answer is no longer being tested on anything, and the score stops meaning anything.

What your score actually means

Fifty points are available, ten per round. For context rather than judgement:

• Under 20. Usually new couples, and usually a good night. Almost every answer is new information.
• 20 to 30. The normal range for a couple a few years in. You know each other well and have both quietly changed since you last checked.
• 30 to 40. You pay attention. Expect the misses to cluster in one round, which is the interesting part.
• Over 40. Either a long time together or unusual attentiveness. Worth asking whether the answers are right or just old.

The total is the least useful number here. Which round you lost is what matters. Dropping points on round one is funny. Dropping them on round four, which is about how your partner works rather than what they like, is the one worth talking about over the following week.

Round 1: The basics

Ten points. If you drop marks here, that is genuinely funny rather than a problem.

1. What is their coffee or tea order, exactly as they would say it?
2. What size shoe do they wear?
3. Which side of the bed do they sleep on, from their point of view?
4. What is the first thing they do after waking up?
5. What is their go-to takeaway order?
6. Which app do they open most on their phone?
7. What is their middle name?
8. How do they take their eggs?
9. What is the last thing they watched without you?
10. What time do they actually fall asleep?

Round 2: Their history

The answers here existed before you did, which is what makes getting them right worth something.

11. What was their first job?
12. Who was their childhood best friend?
13. What subject did they hate most at school?
14. What is the first concert or event they went to?
15. What was their first pet's name?
16. Which family member are they most like, and would they agree?
17. What is the furthest they had travelled before meeting you?
18. What did they want to be when they were ten?
19. What is a nickname they had that they never use now?
20. What is the story they tell most often about their childhood?

Round 3: What they actually like

This is where most couples lose points, because preferences drift and nobody announces it.

21. What is their favourite meal that you cook?
22. What flowers would they actually want, if any?
23. Which of their possessions would they save first?
24. What is their comfort film or show, the one they rewatch?
25. What music do they put on when nobody else is choosing?
26. What is their ideal Saturday, hour by hour?
27. Which gift you have given them did they like most?
28. What do they secretly find boring that you both do?
29. What smell do they love?
30. What would they choose for their last meal?

Round 4: How they work

Less about facts, more about patterns. These are the answers that change how you treat each other on a bad week.

31. What makes them feel most cared for: being helped, being told, or being left alone?
32. How do they behave when they are stressed but not saying so?
33. What is the fastest way to cheer them up?
34. Do they want advice or agreement when they complain about work?
35. What kind of tired are they most often: physical, social, or mental?
36. What is the thing they apologise for too much?
37. What do they need in the first ten minutes after getting home?
38. How do they prefer to receive bad news?
39. What social situation drains them most?
40. What is their tell when they are hiding that something is wrong?

Round 5: The two of you

Ten points on shared history. Disagreements here are usually the most interesting part of the whole quiz.

41. What was the first thing they noticed about you?
42. Where did you have your first proper conversation?
43. What is the pettiest argument you have ever had?
44. What do they think is your best quality?
45. What is your worst habit, according to them?
46. What is the best trip you have taken together, in their opinion?
47. What is a thing you say constantly that you do not notice?
48. When did they first think this might be serious?
49. What would they say is your song, if you have one?
50. What is the one thing they would change about how you spend weekends?

Frequently asked questions

How do you play a couples quiz?

Each of you writes down what you think your partner's answer is, and separately what your own answer actually is. Then you compare, scoring a point for every answer you guessed correctly about them. Scoring your guesses rather than your own answers is what makes it a quiz instead of a questionnaire.

What is a good score on a couples quiz?

Around 30 out of 50 is normal for a couple a few years in. Scoring in the forties usually means a long time together or unusual attention. A low total is far less meaningful than which round you lost.

How long does the quiz take?

One round takes about ten minutes if you actually talk about the answers. All five in one sitting takes over an hour and is usually worse, because the conversation is the point and it gets rushed. Most couples do a round at a time.

Can you do a couples quiz long distance?

Yes, and it arguably works better. Write your answers separately, send them at the same time, and compare. Neither of you can read the other's face while answering, which removes the main way people accidentally cheat at this.

Keep going

If the guessing part was the fun bit, the same mechanic drives the 160 would you rather questions for couples, and the 110 what if questions are the version with no right answer at all. For a longer scored round, the 60 how well do you know me questions run in six rounds that get harder as you go. The whole collection sits in 204 questions for couples.